The week so far has been really hard for me. Without my laptop, my room is way more quiet than before -- and I lost my best company when trying my best to fall asleep at night. Some freaks in hostel keep playing very loud music which also kept me awake for hours before I can really fall asleep. I lost lots of respect to a close friend who I used to be strongly attached to. In this story I shall say my chinese culture did save me from screaming and crying like insane. Although I still have been feeling broken deep down inside and could not think for a long time.
I used to examine myself a lot for whatever bad results that come to me, which makes this time lot more difficult because all I felt is being innocent...and maybe stupid in sticking to some values I always believed in. When there is a person comes to me and slapped on my face, I become upset and nervous... like don't really know what to believe anymore.
But, when I was reading and making noted on LonelyPlanet Netherlands alone in my room, when I started again to run very hard in the gym, when I talked and laughed with friends, when I saw old couples kissing each other goodbye and looked back to each other again after walking apart, when I went to AIESEC meetings and started cold calls to companies, when I look into people's eyes when talking to them, when I wander around and enjoyed sunshine in Bergen, when I picked up the phone and hear friends' voice back home... I know I am living my life. And I know there are lots of things still there to appreciate. I have always been grateful for living this life. Now I guess I just need to go through again what are these important for me.
I am back. And I am very happy that a new chapter has started and hopefully, the best is yet to come.
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