the one with CUHK so far

I haven't been writing ever since I got back to Asia -- well except the couple of short blogs I posted on msn space just to let people know where was I. Well there actually have been several times I started writing but paused searching for what I really wanted to say and finally gave up.

There were lots of thoughts came across my mind I wished to captured them and put down in words --- it has been a very wierd time when I came back from the 2nd exchange and also been much impressed by London where I in fact thought of the possibility spending the rest of life; and it has been a very wierd time when most of my friends are graduated and most of them have already started working when me is left in campus worrying about my classes as well as where to head for future.

First thing I ever done once got back to HK is helping out another year's IASP orientation. Remember I called Jacky directly from Shanghai and quite excited about coming to be one of the helpers, well partly because I was having quite a bad time in Shanghai and plan to run away from the problems I never wanted to deal with, and of course mostly because we had such a great time at last year's orientation. I missed hanging out with Milky Christy Kenneth and Jacky and hopefully I can meet up with some cool helpers as well this year. Anyways, me and lucy wound up sneaking out .... great chat but that was how I ended this year's IASP orientation.
Which just reminded me once again things happen in a way that sometimes you want to grasp the feelings once again in the similar setting or same people, but when time's passed, things are just different.

When it comes to the 5th year, you naturally see less familiar faces around. In contrast with what I made myself doing in first years which is meeting as many new people as I can or joining as many activities as there are, I tend to stick more with my old friends, and maintain a simply life. I know it is arogant to say most new people around are fresh and green, but it is just quite true to me that I am having less exciting conversations with the frosh and juniors. Also, my old friends around are all those who extended this academic term cause of previous exchange that we actually have not seen each other for so long. I feel much closer to them than ever when we were sharing the different us we turned to after these couple of years.

I did not have much return culture shock this time when I was back. Honestly I am very happy that after all these years, I can feel myself becoming more and more tolerant and clear in mind about the culture differences I keep running into. This might sound very abstract, but it is true that the more I become westernized, the more Chinese I feel about myself. I am very looking forward to really seeing the merits of both eastern and western cultures and thus make myself a better person. However, what I incurred most recently let me know that although it is not difficult for me anymore to switch in between different culture situations, it can be very tough trying to let my social peers from both sides just combine easily. It is like if I told a chinese friend that a foreign friend is really cool but the chinese might not think same as I do. After all, they are from two aspects of my life and depend on other people's values instead of two sides of me myself which I can work on.
Again, this is a plain fact but actually took me years to understand.

Meeting up with my working peeps is fun. One year ago, they were at where we are right now worrying about what to with our futures. Now is like another big test of life, making us to again look back our lives see how much we seeded and how much we deserve to get. But this time is bit different; this time is after a period during when we truely started to make decisions ourselves, compared with our parents guide us mostly before; this time we know that once we made lousy decision, we're risking our own future and the word "future" just look most real ever; and this time some of us are having our love ones at side-no matter how certain we are, we all hope to make the best decision for more than the single each one of us.

Back to HK is just like back to reality-back to where all of us eagerly wants to know how competitive we are and whether we can win what we deserve by hard working and bit of luck. This city will always be fasinating to me not only because of my special bound with cosmopolitan cities, also because here is where I in the first time of my life know who am I and what I want to be. Although I'm never a Hongkie (in fact neither do I feel like shanghainese), I do have a sense of belonging here. But still, Hong Kong is not going to hold me back - maybe because I am only 22.

To all dear friends wherever you are
I wish you all the best and enjoy what life may bring

Amanda